Training my ass...Gear!

Four days till super hike...

Along with the shitty advice that I've been given by everyone, I've also attained some pretty primo gear for this hike.
The same friend who told me to 'lube up down there' also gave me a shirt. He said he's 'sponsoring' me. I'm wearing the shirt right now for the first time...and it looks pretty gay. Trust me, I tried taking a picture of it ten different ways, and every time this thing just isn't me. Please no one take offense to the 'gay' term...it's a bad habit. I mean nothing by it. Trust me, I'm half a homo.

I also scored some diabetic shoe supports. My good friend Joshua helped my cause by throwing a pair of these beauties my way. You are supposed to put them in the toaster oven and cook them just until they won't really burn you, and then stick them on your feet so they take your foot's impression. Then I guess you just fuckin hike away! They're pretty cool. AND they're saving me cash from just buying new shoes. I'm just going to wear the same pieces of shit that I've been wearing all summer....with these bitchin' new inserts. I already tried them out a little bit, and my heels kinda hurt in them, but I haven't cooked them yet...and I had no socks on; which also made my feet sort of fart as I trotted out to the shop to grab this shirt.

PLEASE. I'm not writing this to have everyone (my two readers) to start giving me shit to take on my hike. Thank you. No thank you. All I really need yet is a canteen of some sort and these hiking rods from Leon. I just kept imagining all day the shit that people may start to give me.

"Here...take this...it's good luck. It's my brother's foot ball helmet that he wore when they won the regional s... "

"Oh...wear this chain that my sister made out of her first bicycle..."

"Eat this...it's an heirloom pepper from Cogg's garden"

I could see this going on and on until I'm clonkin on down to Normanwood with a fist full of good luck charms and looking like a retard. I'll be fine, friends don't you worry. Trust me, I'm going to have my hands full dragging Heidi and Shannon up and over the last few ridges...I'm sure of that.