Arment assists!

I wish I could say that this is the first time that this has happened, but it’s not.

I love dogs…but sometimes they are so silly! I know that dogs will eat grass to settle their stomach, and often it is fascinating to watch them eat it as though they are grazing cattle. It’s soothing to watch them feed themselves from the land, and it’s nice to see the higher blades of grass disappear without the annoying roar of a mower. But…

Dumb ass dogs will just eat and eat and eat the grass without wondering how their body will digest the entire intake and…yes. Sometimes large green turds get stuck on the way out. This inconvenience leaves the dog confused and anxious. Lord knows they can’t reach their head around there to bite the dang thing clean off. No. This act results in the humorous spinning and spinning as though trying to catch his or her tail, just like in cartoons, except for the fact that there is a turd whipping in the wind, as the tail turns toward the chase-ee. So weird.

Sometimes a sort of drag is given a shot, to hopefully yank the turd out. Maybe this works, but I’ve rarely seen it…SOOO…you know what happens.

Yes, I’ve done this before. Shit, I’ve even written about this subject in an old ‘zine I contributed to. The dog gives a look. Ok, like tonight Tahlula kept trying to poop out a grass log. She kept trying in different areas (like that would help!), walking around the yard. I wasn’t really paying attention due to the fact that I am a dedicated farmer and needed to tend to my crops…but then….I got the look. She’s haunched over, legs shaking trying to poop and looking at me like “Hey Dude…a little help?”.

The other time I did this, I speared the turd with a fork, but that was a different dog and a much different situation. Oh, it worked alright, but this time would be much easier due to the turd size, dog and our general location. Yup, I’m a farmer, soooooo….I just walked over to the corn and ripped a big leaf off one of the thousands of raising stalks. I folded it over into a sort of taco shape, called the dog over, grabbed her by the tail with one hand and clenched the turd with the other in the taco-leaf. Yank it out, and whip it in the neighbor’s field. Kaboom, baby.