Tuesday's Gone

Computer problems make me mental. I was mental enough today without the fucking computer. 'Things got a virus and so do I, judging my poor excuses for bowel movements throughout the last twenty four hours....trust me, you don't want to hear about it.

Anyhow, this computer is sick. My buddy Dave tried helping me today with extensive text messages and links to help. The hours passed and I got closer to fixing the problem, with a constant image of me throwing the thing off the roof looming in the brain. Throwing the computer from my roof would be the greatest feeling in the world right now, besides a solid bowel movement.
Maybe I just need to be done with the pc...maybe it's time to graduate to an IMac. I just feel like this thing has been holding me back for years and it's time to get out of my abusive relationship and move over to Apple. If an Apple computer works anything like my iphone...I'm in love. The frickin' phone is like a mind reader...and it's so smart and caring! I'm in love with my phone!
This computer probleming and upset stomach left me with a little rub of depression today. I wasn't able to make it to work, and we've got a deadline coming up...I checked some of my balances on my laptop, and...I'm fucking broke too! Damn.
Look...I know my minor problems today could have been cured with some pepto and more patience with my data consultant. Yes, I know that my problems are minor and a good kick in the ass could get me going, but some days, man...I don't fucking know. It's like some days you just get really really bummed out and then you can't leave the house. Ever get that?
I swear I only get it like two or three times a year, but fuckin' A. After a while, it's just like..."why bother?"..."this day is fucking shot"..."I'm a total fucking loser"..."What if someone sees me, or wants to talk to me?"...

And then, basically this cloud covers you and you get really nervous and the coffee you drank with no real breakfast at all rots your stomach some more. Eventually, you kinda get the shakes and eat a toasted cheese sandwich...which of course makes you very very sleepy. What the hell...lay down for a bit and ignore phone calls...go ahead, dude...after all, you're a fucking loser! Ahhh...no no no...don't get up and be productive...all this stress and failure makes you..zzzzzzz.

So, sometime later in the day, you wake up and feel like a pile of shit because you weren't productive all day and the problems are still on the counter top. Hmmmm...what to do, what to do? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Yeah, that'll help.

Now I feel just a little bit better, and the poison on my leg is not oozing so much puss right now. The self-loathing has subsided, probably due to the fact that the day is about over, and my internal time card is telling my brain that work should be about done for the day, and it is ok to unwind a bit. Hmmmm. It's as though I fooled the boss and was actually at the bar all day, and he didn't even know it!

For some dumb reason, I feel totally awesome right now and feel like tomorrow I could take on the world. Fuck it. Ready for a ragin' Wednesday.